BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION ETIQUETTE

I’m a girl. That means I’ve witnessed my share of obnoxious birthday behavior. Not only have I witnessed it, I’ve had to be a part of it, all while sporting a fake smile and a feather boa. Below are rules to follow while celebrating your birthday so your friends will be happy you lived to see another year.

1. It’s not “birthweek” or “birthmonth.” It’s “birthday.” That’s one day. Don’t celebrate longer than that.

2. Do not wear a princess crown. Even an actual princess looks ridiculous wearing one.

3. “It’s my birthday today” should not be said more than twice and should never be said to a stranger under any circumstance.

4. Although it’s your party, don’t cry if you want to.

5. It’s not okay to hold a grudge against the people who didn’t wish you a happy birthday on your Facebook wall (although it is very tempting).

6.Opening gifts should be quick as it’s not fair for others to have to fake excitement or hold interest in something that doesn’t benefit them directly for longer than 5 minutes.

7. Cards should only be read aloud in front of close family.

8. Remember that yes, the day is all about you. But, don’t forget there are starving people in China.

9. “Chocolate or vanilla?” should only be in reference to your cake and ice cream choices. Don’t get so drunk that it becomes the way you pose your question about which guy you should hit on.

10. If you have people out for your birthday, tell them how how old you’re turning. They went out of their way to help you celebrate, they have a right to know how sorry to feel for you.